On December 31, 2011 I had every intention on watching the ball drop, so I took a nap from 7-9pm. I got up, made myself a double turkey burger and then took a shower. I followed my shower with a bit of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 to pass the time. At approximately 11:30pm, I cracked open a 6 year old bottle of wine to see if I’d have any luck. None. It was bitter and fuming with a relatively foul order, so I poured it downed the drain. Alas. I was left to suckle my “Carlo Rossi” Chablis while I watched rapper J. Cole perform his hit single “Work Out” on MTV that features some lyrics from Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” hit record from 1989.
Instead of keeping my television locked to MTV, I began flipping channels. I watched one thing after another for short spurts and then another and before I knew it, it was 12:00am and 2012 had come just like that. I called my Aunt Dottie who was born on the first of the year 45 years ago to wish her a happy birthday and a happy new year.
Over the course of the next 48 hours, I received some Happy New Year texts from a variety of family and friends and even sent out a few myself. But that euphoria or nostalgic feeling that I usually felt every New Year’s Eve before just wasn’t there. I doubt it was because I didn’t go out and party, or because I decided to stay in the house alone. I’ve gotten wasted at parties, hung with family, and even alone with a bottle of Hennysey and had oh so much fun and felt a sense of accomplishment in making it from one year to the next. For whatever reason, this turning of the year just felt like any other day I spent up at 12:00am playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, which I turned on again at about 12:10am and stayed on until about 6:30am.
Perhaps my blase feeling toward the New Year is just me getting older and realizing that unless something traumatic, profound, or relatively important happens, all of these holidays are just another day. Or maybe I need to pop out a few brats to make it worth all the glossing up and spending money. To a degree I don’t see the big deal. And that’s especially true for resolutions. I have not, and plan not to make one.
A resolution only occurs when one deeply believes that a change is necessary to their life for the betterment of themselves or others. But let’s be honest. How much did you really change from December 31, 2011 to January 1, 2012. I venture to say not much. I plan to carry on doing what I’ve been doing and that’s working to earn a living, and working toward writing for a living. I don’t need a resolution to do that. And whatever resolutions I’ll make during 2012 didn’t have to be made on January 1. They’ll be made when I buckle down the testicular fortitude to make them happen. I’ll lose this 50 pounds when my will overruns my desire for fast food and wine. I’ll exercise more when I drop down and do some push ups and the pain becomes pleasure. I’ll make more money when I bust my ass with smart-hard-work and stop taking maybe and no for an answer.
So why not make it a resolution A.S, it’s a New Year???!!!! You say? Yeah, but I’m sure we both don’t want to sit here and count the number of resolutions we’ve broken in the past. Why make a promise you most likely wont keep? And worse, one to yourself.
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